The World Series Goes to Hollywood. Or is it the Other Way Around...?

And the World Champions are… the Philadelphia Phillies? Huh? No offense to Phillies fans, but that wasn’t how this was supposed to play out. That’s not a nice, family-friendly ending. The Rays were supposed to win! It was supposed to be a turn-around for the ages! It was supposed to be a Hollywood Ending! The underdog triumphing over the (only one World Series Title in over a hundred years) titanic juggernaut! This was the movie season, the one where everything clicks, and everything works out in the end! This was The Rookie, Remember the Titans, Rudy… the list goes on. This was not supposed to be Friday Night Lights.

Whew, I’m glad that’s out of my system. If your screen is not saturated with the sarcasm laced within that opening paragraph, I’ll spell it out for you: T-H-E R-A-Y-S D-I-D N-O-T D-E-S-E-R-V-E T-O W-I-N T-H-I-S S-E-R-I-E-S. And I don’t mean that in the “they were out-hit, out-pitched, out-played” way, either. I mean that in the same way that I’ll turn around and say the Phillies did not deserve to win the World Series, which is the same way the Chicago Cubs (and their fans) do not deserve to win a World Series. The team that plays the hardest, and wins the right games, when it matters, is the team that deserves to win. Doesn’t matter if you’ve never won more than 71 games in a season, or if you had only won a single World Series (that’s less than the Cubs, FYI) in over a century. Franchise history does not dictate worthiness to become World Champions. That only happens in the movies.

Which brings me to the meat of this particular column. When the Rays made the playoffs (and then the ALCS, and then the World Series), you couldn’t turn on ESPN, or read a sports page, without seeing/hearing/reading the phrase “Hollywood story/ending” or any number of derivatives. And that got me thinking. Is there some sort of link between baseball and Hollywood? Anyone who’s followed Kevin Costner’s career would say yes (By the way, I would like to take this time to say that if the sequel to Bull Durham is ever made, this writer will act as if it does not exist. I’m currently doing it with the imaginary third Indiana Jones sequel that all these people keep pretending exist, I’ll do it with Bull Durham 2). But what if there’s more? What if there’s some far-reaching conspiracy, designed to connect the outcome of the Major League Baseball season with expectations given to us by the movies?

As far as I’m concerned, there’s only one way to test this: Compare the best movie of the year (the Winner of the Oscar for Best Picture) and the best baseball team of the year (the Winner of the World Series). It’s not a perfect formula, but I did this for the past twenty years, and I think you’ll be surprised at some of the results. And yes, I know that the Oscars are given to movies released the previous year, but we’re going with the year they are awarded. You know, for scientific purposes. Also, if you haven’t seen some of these movies, there WILL BE SPOILERS! I’m not going to go out of my way to ruin the movie for you, but for some of the connections, it’s necessary. Anyway, here they are, from most recent (Phillies last night) back to 1989 (Oakland Athletics). Due to length, I’m going to run this list as three columns; this one, which has 2008-2005, and then another in a day or so that will contain 2004-1997, and then the finale a few days after that which will have 1996-1989. So now that I’ve got you for a week, let’s get started.

2008- Best Picture: No Country for Old Men World Series: Philadelphia Phillies

It’s our first one, and it’s fitting that it kind of proves my point right off the bat. Coming into the season, the Phillies had multiple former-MVPs (Jimmy Rollins last year, Ryan Howard in 2006). Going into production, No Country had multiple former Oscar Winners (The Coen Brothers for Fargo and O Brother, Where Art Thou?, and Tommy Lee Jones for The Fugitive). Coming out of the season, the Phillies could have another MVP (Howard again), while No Country picked up more Oscars for the Coens, as well as a statue for first-time winner Javier Bardem, in the role of the cold-blooded killer with no remorse who eliminated everything in his path. You know, kind of like how Cole Hamels pitched in the postseason. Oh yeah, and both team and movie took home the big prize (This is the only time in this column I’ll use that one. But now you see how this is going to work).

2007- Best Picture: The Departed World Series: Boston Red Sox

This one just writes itself. Departed takes place in Boston, the Red Sox (obviously) play in Boston. Mark Wahlberg plays a crazy, borderline psycho cop in the mold of Dustin Pedroia or Kevin Youkilis, Jack Nicholson is just as loony as Manny… the only way this could have been more perfect would be if the Sox hadn’t won it all in 2004, meaning this would be their first World Series win since 1918... The same year Martin Scorsese won his first Oscar. That would have made this theory bullet-proof.

2006- Best Picture: Crash World Series: St. Louis Cardinals.

So here’s your first chance to see if I can write about the Tigers and not show bias. Here goes… nobody expected either this movie or this team to win. The Cardinals limped into the playoffs, and were an afterthought going against a Detroit team that had depth in pitching, hitting, and apparently errors. Crash was a movie that decried racism and stereotypes… that was built on racism and stereotypes. Plus, nearly every critic in America was calling Brokeback Mountain the best movie of the year. So they were both pretty large upsets. I’m giving the edge to Crash in terms of the size of the upset, if only because of the look on Jack Nicholson’s face right after he opened the envelope and read its contents. If I live to be 100, I don’t think I’ll ever forget that look. And as a bonus reason, Crash beat a movie about cowboys, and the Cardinals beat a team managed by the only man in the country who possibly smokes more than the Marlboro man. This is not to insinuate that Jim Leyland is gay (he isn’t), it’s just that smoking+deep, husky voice=Marlboro Man=cowboys. So logically, it makes sense that 2006 was not a good year for cowboys. And my theory sits at 3 for 3. Albeit barely.

2005- Best Picture: Million Dollar Baby World Series: Chicago White Sox

Hm… the first tricky one. I guess the easiest way to connect these two would be to say that I’m sure there were a lot of Cubs fans who felt like Maggie after Billie “The Blue Bear” paralyzes her… they just wanted Frankie to pull the plug and end the suffering. But that’s thin. Thicker is to say that the same year the White Sox won their first World Series sine the Black Sox scandal, Morgan Freeman won his first Academy Award (which still blows my mind. Not that he won it, because he definitely deserved it. But the fact that it took him that long to get an Oscar is almost as bad as the Scorsese Drought). Possibly thickest is to say that each featured a cantankerous manager (Clint Eastwood, Ozzie Guillen) unafraid to speak their mind, who coaxed an amazing, masterful performance out of his actors/players, and ultimately delivered a terrific, championship movie/season. But that would mean equating Clint Eastwood with Ozzie Guillen, and I’m just not sure that I’m prepared to do that. So I’ll take the loss on this one.

End of Column Score: 3-1

Total Score: 3-1

Next Time: Find out what the Florida Marlins have to do with singing, dancing female prisoners and Richard Gere as a sleazy lawyer in 1920s Chicago…

Postponed

The World Series has been postponed. Not just for the first time in my lifetime, but for the first time EVER. I'm not sure how I feel about this. If they let the boys play Saturday night/Sunday morning, why not let them wait it out tonight? Guess Selig is the only one who has the answers....

First Diagnosis, Part II

So, I had a column idea in mind for today that involved the World Series being over; as I type this the Phillies lead 3-1, so it could end as early as tonight, or as late as Saturday night. Personally, I'm hoping for a Phillies win tonight, so that I can write this column (among other reasons, more on that in a sec), but I guess I could use a few more baseball games before shifting completely to the last half of college football season, the NBA, and counting down for college hoops.

There were some things I meant to type in my "First Diagnosis" column that I inadvertently left out, and now would like to correct. Basically, I just want to tell you a little about my likes and dislikes as a sports fan, so that if I sound to biased a certain way, someone out there can give me a good, swift kick in the pants (verbally speaking). I love a certain ESPN Sportswriter to death; his work has a lot to do with my decision to do this for a living, but I don't think I want to be as one-sided with my teams as he is with the... let's call them the Austin Bed Rocks, just to keep up the illusion of anonymity. If you don't know what I'm talking about, then please continue to read this column regularly, and assume that all instances of bias are merely coincidence and/or unintentional.

If I had to compile a list of favorite sports, it would go something like this: Baseball, college basketball, college football, NFL Football, NBA Basketball, Tennis Majors (Wimbledon, the French Open, the US Open, and the Australian Open ONLY), the NHL, Soccer, Olympic Sports, horse racing, soccer, UFC/MMA Fighting, and golf. I'm sure I left a few out, but if I did, then I probably wouldn't ever reference them anyway. So looking at this list, you'll see that if I have a choice between writing a baseball column or an Olympic column... baseball is probably going to win. That being said, I will try to keep my columns as varied as possible, because no one wants to read two or three columns a week about baseball all written by the same guy. Not even me.

Also, on the issue of gender... you'll get coverage of the Women's College Basketball tournament (because I watch it), but not the WNBA (because I don't, and also because my spell check recognized "NBA" as a word, but not "WNBA." This is not my fault). I want to cover sports here, and that includes the ladies. That being said, there will most likely be more male sports-based columns, if only because they get more media coverage (and therefore make me more likely to watch them). Plus, I don't care what anyone says, Kevin Durant is more exciting to watch than Candace Parker. I'm sorry, but it's the truth.

So now you'll know if I'm being biased in my column topic selection, so let's move on to individual teams, so you'll know if I'm being biased in my columns themselves. As far as being a die-hard fan of any one team, there's really only one: the Detroit Tigers. I love the Tigers, which is why I just can't stomach the idea of seeing the Rays win a World Series before I see the Tigers win one. The Tigers are probably the only team you'll see a direct bias towards; let me know if it gets out of hand a la Sim... er, that guy who writes for ESPN. In the other sports, I have teams that I like and follow, but mostly I just watch the games and bounce around from year to year. Which reminds me, I'm looking for an NBA team to follow this year. If anyone has any suggestions, let me know. I'm completely OK with being a bandwagon fan, and if I select your team, they will probably get a little (but hopefully not a lot) of bias in this column, along with another fan (if only for the year). No Lakers, Bulls, or Celtics requests, please.

Next time: Hopefully, my World Series Column. If not, probably 10 Reasons Why I Love the BCS (And no, that's not a typo).

First Diagnosis

So the purpose of this blog is relatively simple. My name is Mic Durfee, and I want to be a sports columnist. I'm a Journalism Major at the University of Missouri, and even though I'm learning a lot there, I figure I should use this whole Internet thing to my advantage and get some practical column-writing experience.



As I noted earlier, the purpose of this blog is pretty simple- sports. A buddy of mine suggested that I use the sub-heading of "A daily dose of opinion and a prescription for cutting the crap" underneath my blog title. Only problems are A) Blogspot didn't give me a sub-heading option, and B) I don't think this will be a daily blog. Bi-weekly, possibly tri-weekly, is what I'm shooting for. But since it can't be a sub-heading, think of it more as my version of the Hippocratic Oath. When you read this column, you'll get my thoughts and opinions, as well as the relevant facts. As much as I love sports, I think every sports fan will agree that there is a lot wrong with the state of sports right now- baseball is just getting over the steroids era, the NBA still has Tim Donaghy hanging over its head, the NFL is trying to clean up its act while people like Pacman Jones seem hell-ben to destroy it, the NHL is fighting for relevance, College Football is still using a computer to determine the National Champion, and so on and so forth. So there's a lot to be upset about. But there is still a lot to love. The Tampa Bay Rays have a chance to complete the first worst to first turn around in Major League History. The NBA has dynamic young stars like Chris Paul, Deron Williams, and Kevin Durant, who are electrifying to watch and seem to be upstanding citizens off the court. The NFL has the most parity it's had since... well, as long as I've been alive anyway (Anytime the Arizona Cardinals are the best team in their division, and in the conversation of Top Five Teams in the NFC... there's a lot of parity). And the NHL... well, the NHL is still here. And thanks to Sidney Crosby, Alex Ovechkin, and numerous other young stars, people are watching again. And while the BCS is still flawed, if Texas keeps playing the way they have been, it won't matter whether a human or a computer decides the champ.



I guess my point is that it's a great time to be a sportswriter. There's a lot of things happening, both good and bad, and that's exciting. I'm looking forward to picking stories, writing about them, hearing feeback, and just watching more sports than any one person possibly needs to watch, all in the name of "I need material for my next column." I hope that what I have to say provokes a response; whether you love it or hate it, I just hope it makes you think a little.



The Doctor is in.